Withholding Judgment

Posted on December 2, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , |

Sometimes it’s hard to understand the choices we see other people make, especially those close to us.  We may think, “Don’t they understand how foolish this course of action is?  Can’t they see that they’ll just end up getting hurt?”  What we have to remember, though, is that no matter what we’re looking at, we can ONLY see it through our OWN lens.  Not theirs.

We’re making a judgment call that our choice is the better one – for them.  Obviously, that must not be the case – or everyone else would be doing exactly what we’re doing.  Right?

Underlying those questions is another judgment – one that assumes that pain should be avoided.  But is that really the best scenario?  Isn’t it through fire that our spirit is challenged and grows?  Would we deny our friends and loved ones their own opportunities for growth and expansion?

Of course those questions stem from what we “think” is best for our loved ones, but sometimes life is not best lead by the head but by the spirit.  Our soul knows what lessons it has come to this physical lifetime to experience.  Who are we to pass judgment on the lessons someone else has chosen to experience?

It’s just as easy to turn our judgmental tendencies inward, blaming and chastising ourselves for our perceived failures and shortcomings.  We can all relate to the depression and frustration that results from such actions.

But isn’t there another more constructive, and possibly more comfortable, way to frame our perspective?  What if we were to view ALL of life’s experiences as just that – life experiences?

What if we were to remove the assignment of “good” or “bad”, “right” or “wrong”?  Aren’t those just subjective truths, anyway?  Without a benchmark of right or wrong, good or bad, we are left without any comparison to judge our actions against.  They simply become actions.

Now we can observe them as just another experience in a lifelong string of experiences.  Things become “good” or “bad” simply because we declare them to be such.  So once we stop declaring them that way, we are free to see the gift that EACH experience offers us.

While we may decide that we enjoy certain experiences more than other, that does not make them “better” than those other.  Just more enjoyable.

Today, think about how easy it is to cast judgments – on someone else, on yourself.  And ask yourself, “Isn’t this a life experience also?”  Free yourself from the burden of judging your actions – and allow yourself to EXPERIENCE life.  It just might surprise you what you discover about yourself once you stop casting judgments.

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One Response to “Withholding Judgment”

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I will always try to remember this when I judge others 🙂


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