Moving On

Posted on April 24, 2010. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , |

Relationships serve many purposes in our lives.  Some people come into our lives for a particular purpose, and when that purpose is fulfilled, the relationship ends.  Personally, I’ve experienced this twice in the past few years in relation to my business.  Even though I can truly see and understand that these relationships filled a specific need in my life, answered a specific prayer, I still struggled to release them when their purpose had obviously been served.

Through time, I slowly moved on, finding new experiences and new people to fill my life.  With the perspective that hind-sight affords, I see just how perfectly these relationships answered my prayers at those times and when my needs or direction changed, the relationships dissolved.

Letting them go is still hard for me.  And it’s harder still when I’m still engaged in the relationship to determine whether it’s truly time to let it go and move on.

I’m in the middle of another of those “Moving On” situations.  This relationship is personal, not business related, and that makes the waters muddier for me.  The clear distinction of having fulfilled its purpose is not there – at least it’s not clear to me.

This relationship has provided lessons for me about my soul’s purpose, growth, and boundaries.  While it has helped me to clarify what I’m about and the gifts and talents I have to offer others, it has also shown me where I still have to grow in loving and accepting myself.  Now I’ve come to a place where the relationship creates a feeling of resentment, misunderstanding and being taken advantage of.  Knowing that life is but a reflection of what I’m putting out there, I see that I am the one overlooking my needs.  I am the one who is giving to the point of being resentful and feeling taken advantage of.  I am the one responsible for ignoring my personal boundaries and neglecting my needs.  I am the one who has chosen to remain silent and not voice my feelings and needs.

I accept fully my responsibility in creating this situation which now gives me the opportunity to take care of myself.  It has become clear that I cannot continue to participate in this relationship without feeling my resentment.  It’s time for me to walk away.

Why does that feel like a failure at some level?  I hear messages like, “If you were the better person, you wouldn’t let the relationship get under your skin.  You’d just take it for what it is.”  That may be true – for some goal to work towards, for some more forgiving and understanding place to live from.  But to “should” myself for where I am right now and how I feel right now also feels like a disservice.

The best I can do it to authentically express and live from where I am right now.  So for today, I resolve to forgive myself for not being more accepting.  I forgive the other participant in this relationship for the hurt I’ve felt.  Actually, I feel grateful to this person for teaching me more about who I am.

Perhaps that was the whole point from the beginning.

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4 Responses to “Moving On”

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I have yet to understand the complexities of loss. While I can easily let go of situations, material things and place, people always seem to stump me.

I leave a wide gap for others to evolve and disconnect allowing the reconnection to take place or not.

What I’ve come to realize is that “evolving” neither includes me or my sense of timing. By the time I reach this understanding, I can let go of the person very easily.

The final reconciliation is with the self, as you addressed so clearly. To heal the pain inside that wants more then what is offered.

i am so proud of you…that you can put things like this into words! good job! well said! i love your spirit!

This should be a published article. I feel that there are others who need to hear your words as they will bring comfort and understanding.

Thank you for your heart-felt comments, love and support. Marsha, please send others to my blog if you know of anyone who might benefit from my words.

I’m working toward getting my voice out there – thanks for your support!


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