Figuring it out as we go…

Posted on December 22, 2014. Filed under: Spiritual Practice | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Life is a process.  Each experience leads to another, to the next.  For better or for worse, we can only take one step at a time, whether that feels like a forward step or a backward step.  We just keep racking up experience after experience.  And we hope that we are going somewhere – somewhere that feels good, that feels fulfilling.

We made assessments about life at a very early age.  We made determinations about our worth, our value, about success and failure – long before we fully understood the depth of meaning of those concepts.  Then we spend our lives marching to the tune of those beliefs acquired long before we had the power to choose deliberately and consciously.  We were subjected to customs, traditions, duties and obligations – and those things became the fabric of the tapestry of How We View Life.

At some point, most of us wake up to the fact that we can actually examine and discard those beliefs that feel like vices around our very lifeblood – those things that choke the hope, joy and love out of our existence.  You know the ones I’m talking about – those things like, “You’re a worthless piece of ^%*$,” or “You don’t deserve to be happy,” or “It’s all your fault.”  Pick your poison.  We’re all carrying some version of it around inside of us.

The way I now see it, the path to happiness lies in exposing these false beliefs that underlie the very Each experiencefoundation of who we see ourselves to be.  They impact everything.  Every relationship.  Every interaction.  Every choice.  We’re either proving to ourselves that they’re true, and we are worthless – or we’re faced with the realization that the very foundation of what we’ve built our identity upon is cracked, damaged and in dire need of rebuilding.

So that brings me back to my initial comment – Life is a process.  I said that to a friend today, and he thought he heard me say, Life is a crock.  Perhaps that’s really what I was saying.  Sometimes the process just plain sucks.  It can be hard.  But only – and I mean ONLY – because somewhere along the line we’ve deemed it so.

See, we came in with a clean slate.  We entered this life knowing that we are divine creators, still basking in the loving oneness that precedes and supersedes life as we consciously know it.  And then we forgot.  We forgot that we come from love and that the point is and has always been simply experiencing and expressing this love in an infinite variety of ways.  Somewhere along the line we messed it all up by coming to believe that we are anything less than who we were when we began this journey as little tiny infants.  We created limiting beliefs … and now we’re on the journey of exposing them for the falsehoods that they are, one by stinking one.

Gradually we begin to reassemble the pieces of the puzzle into their proper places.  We begin to see ourselves as the powerful creators of our experience that we always have been, but which we were taught to diminish and discount, belittle and bemoan.  When we take responsibility for our lives, we see that each experience is one more piece of the puzzle reassembling our divine birthright which is to know that love is all there is.  Everything else is illusion.

So while it is true that sometimes the process stinks, it does lead us to the magnificent revelation and understanding of our divine connection to all things.  As humans, we’re all just figuring it out as we go.  And nothing could be more perfect than that.

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The illusion is that someone else put up the fences – when it’s been our doing all along.

Posted on December 9, 2014. Filed under: Spiritual Practice | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

The illusion is that someone else put up the fencesWe want to hold someone else responsible for the fences we run into. We want to blame them for putting up these barriers – when in reality, any barriers we encounter are always of our own making.

I know that is a hard pill to swallow. “How can that possibly be? Why would I put up fences to hold me back? So-and-so is the one that made me mad or is being a jerk or …” or whatever story we tell that shifts the focus from our own thoughts and beliefs that are really responsible for creating the feeling state that we’re in. And try as we might, that responsibility falls squarely on us.

I understand. I get it. Life happens. Things break. Kids make poor choices. People act crabby or get depressed. We have disappointments. But in ALL of these things, it is up to us alone to CHOOSE how to respond, how to feel and then how to act. We can let our inner dialogue convince us that we’re powerless, that someone else is at fault – which again just puts us in that victim stance of powerlessness – or we can recognize our power to pause that inner conversation and shift it.

I’m not saying this is easily done. Hardly! There are so few role models for this. It is certainly NOT what most of us have been taught. We have no idea what this looks like – but THAT is no excuse for not making the effort, for not choosing to stop self-defeating self-talk, for not interrupting the “automatic” knee-jerk reactions we’re used to employing by default.

Pause. Breathe. Ask yourself, “What is appropriate for me right now?” Or “What good in this situation am I not seeing?” It’s solely up to us to change these patterns which no longer serve us.

And sometimes… it’s best to just lay low, curl up with a book, and wait for another day to try again.

Whatever you choose, own it. Be okay with it. Know that somehow all of this is leading to a better tomorrow – once we quit banging against those fences that we think are holding us back.

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Choosing from My Now

Posted on September 23, 2014. Filed under: Spiritual Awakening | Tags: , , , , , , |

I know that life happens in this now moment.  This is where I make my choices from, and the only reason my past impacts mySunshine now is because in this now moment I remember my past.  Past hurts.  Past choices.  Past repercussions.  And in the moment that I remember them, I’ve just included them in my present.  I’ve re-activated them.

If I could wash the slate of my past clean, then those past hurts, wounds, memories would no longer influence my now.  I could live freely in this moment, choosing based solely upon how life is showing up right now.  Without past baggage coloring and influencing my choices.

How will I know whether something or someone is what or who I want to keep in my life, I wonder.  Well, I’ll know based on how they choose to show up right now.  In this moment.

I will be free to respond by simply deciding if this is something I want or don’t want, like or don’t like.  And that frees me up to simply be.  Be alive, fully present, in this moment.

Ever so slowly, I am accepting me in my totality.  With my wounds.  With my fears.  With my brilliance.  Standing fully – in love with life.  As love.

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Standing in Confidence

Posted on August 2, 2013. Filed under: Spiritual Awakening, Spiritual Practice | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

Just two weeks ago when I attempted to write this blog, I was in a completely different space.  Now things have shifted, I have shifted, and I see the same things from this different perspective.

I guess I’m learning (again) to trust the process, my process.  I’m learning to trust this new foundation upon which I’m crafting my ever-expanding, constantly moving world.  I’m experiencing the power and the “rightness” of honoring my truth, sharing my voice and fully experiencing my emotions.

The bottom line is that life continues to be a fluid reflection of my inner world.  As I claim, with confidence and surety, the power of my connection to my Source, others reflect back to me the “magic” of allowing that connection.  It’s become such an anomaly, this natural connection to Source, that when we witness it, we’re awestruck and mesmerized.  The truth of the matter is that we ALL have this connection to Source; we ALL have access to the seemingly magical and miraculous happenings that flow from this connection.  We ALL do.  I’m not special – I’m just practicing living in the space of that connection, and it feels incredible.

sea-103539_1280I shared several Akashic Record readings this week that not only profoundly affected my clients, but which also profoundly affected me.  Each reading is unique and special, but this week something incredible happened for me.  I experienced a deep knowing about the power of aligning with my Soul.  I gained “evidence” of the magic of sharing my gifts in ways that makes my heart sing.  I realized that I am very good at what I do, and the more fully I stand in confidence, knowing Who I Am, the more powerfully I am able to influence my clients’ experience.

Life is all about learning who we are, about experiencing ourselves as the powerful creator of our world, and about allowing love to flow through us unimpeded.  The ways in which we can do all of these things are endless.  We can never get it wrong… but, oh, the deliciousness of how it feels when we allow complete and utter alignment is almost beyond description!

So today, as opposed to two weeks ago, I stand here in eager anticipation of whatever is next.  I stand with great joy and confidence that Life will be exciting and adventurous – and I’m ready.  I’m ready to embrace the entirety of my experience because I KNOW the power of my alignment, and I KNOW that I can come back to this place of alignment whenever I choose.  There is nothing more delicious, nor more exciting, than standing in the power of BEING me.

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