The illusion is that someone else put up the fences – when it’s been our doing all along.

Posted on December 9, 2014. Filed under: Spiritual Practice | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

The illusion is that someone else put up the fencesWe want to hold someone else responsible for the fences we run into. We want to blame them for putting up these barriers – when in reality, any barriers we encounter are always of our own making.

I know that is a hard pill to swallow. “How can that possibly be? Why would I put up fences to hold me back? So-and-so is the one that made me mad or is being a jerk or …” or whatever story we tell that shifts the focus from our own thoughts and beliefs that are really responsible for creating the feeling state that we’re in. And try as we might, that responsibility falls squarely on us.

I understand. I get it. Life happens. Things break. Kids make poor choices. People act crabby or get depressed. We have disappointments. But in ALL of these things, it is up to us alone to CHOOSE how to respond, how to feel and then how to act. We can let our inner dialogue convince us that we’re powerless, that someone else is at fault – which again just puts us in that victim stance of powerlessness – or we can recognize our power to pause that inner conversation and shift it.

I’m not saying this is easily done. Hardly! There are so few role models for this. It is certainly NOT what most of us have been taught. We have no idea what this looks like – but THAT is no excuse for not making the effort, for not choosing to stop self-defeating self-talk, for not interrupting the “automatic” knee-jerk reactions we’re used to employing by default.

Pause. Breathe. Ask yourself, “What is appropriate for me right now?” Or “What good in this situation am I not seeing?” It’s solely up to us to change these patterns which no longer serve us.

And sometimes… it’s best to just lay low, curl up with a book, and wait for another day to try again.

Whatever you choose, own it. Be okay with it. Know that somehow all of this is leading to a better tomorrow – once we quit banging against those fences that we think are holding us back.

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Dancing in the Void

Posted on December 28, 2013. Filed under: Spiritual Practice | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

We all experience that in-between space as we’re moving from one phase or chapter of life into the next.  You know what I mean – that place that feels like limbo – neither here nor there.  In between.  The Void.

Often in the past, I would find this “mood” settle on me and call it a “funk,” but I stopped doing that when I realized that by giving it a negative label, I probably wasn’t helping myself.  So what IS this space, this energy in-between where I once was and where I’m going next?

Welcome to The Void.  Contrary to what you might conclude at first glance, the Void is not emptiness.  It is not nothing-ness.  In fact, the Void is quite the opposite because the Void is pregnant with possibilities.  It is the space where all potentialities exist but which have not yet been called into form.  The Void is teeming with opportunities, beeming with contingencies, and it is merely waiting on our decision to pick a course, a direction so that it can begin to form our desires.

While being in this vague, undefined space has often created a feeling of unease within me, more recently I’m coming to understand the value of embracing the Void.  I sense the existence of all of these possibilities floating around me, and I too now understand that it is my lack of clarity that has landed me in this limbo.

Sometimes there are very good reasons for my not knowing more precisely what it is that I am wanting.  (I’m also learning to not judge myself harshly for taking whatever time is necessary to figure out what it is that I do want.)  And sometimes, it’s as simple as I just haven’t decided yet.  But regardless of the reason I have landed in the Void, I find it a much more satisfying experience when I can simply allow myself to BE there.  If I can simply dance with the Void, allowing myself to be moved by Cherish the dance with the void - biggerwhatever internal melody fills my soul, I know that eventually I will move beyond the vagueness of the Void and once again relish in the feeling of passion and purpose that I so enjoy.

The Void is not a barren space, devoid of life.  Rather is it the exuberance of Life simply awaiting your decision.  It is the conglomerate of every potential awaiting your clarity of desire to set it all into motion once again.

So the next time you find yourself unsure of which path to take or what direction to go, if you feel vague and in limbo, celebrate where you are.  Embrace the Void.  Dance with the Void as you realize that it is merely waiting for you to choose.  Cherish the dance with the Void because it is the birthplace of expansion.  It is creation itself.

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