Suffering is optional

Posted on December 5, 2015. Filed under: Spiritual Practice | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Life holds so many mysteries and surprises – some exciting and uplifting, some downright devastating.  No one seems to make it through life unscathed.  We all bear scars of one sort or another as if to prove that yes, we have walked through the fires of life.  Why then do some seem to do it with so much greater ease than others?  What secrets do they know that pave their journey with ease and grace while others are continually raked over the coals?

The answer is both simpler and more complex than you might first imagine.  Life happens.  Pain occurs.  Whether it is physical or emotional, painful things happen.  However, our response to the painful stimuli or the pain itself determines whether we suffer or not.  That response is within our control, and it is our response which gives us the power to move through the pain by letting it pass or to stay stuck in it thereby creating our own suffering.

Suffering is optionalAs you might guess, our thoughts have a tremendous impact on our responses.  If we see life as a struggle, we’re going to attract circumstances to prove that perspective.  Contrarily, if we see life as supportive, we will experience evidence to support that view.  Letting go of the need to suffer then becomes yet another benefit to adopting a positive outlook on life.

The following suggestions can help to shift your thoughts toward a more positive perspective and thus reduce the amount of suffering that you experience.

Accept personal responsibility.

When we assume responsibility for our lives, we put ourselves in a position of power.  We hold the power to choose.  We have the authority to exercise free will.  We can set limits and boundaries.  We put ourselves into the driver’s seat of our life.  We empower ourselves.

By accepting this responsibility, we raise our vibration above helplessness which feeling like a victim to life’s seeming randomness engenders.  This shifts our perspective as well.  It gives us the insight that challenges happen, difficult experiences occur.  However, we no longer see these happenings as meant to beat us down but, in fact, to give us opportunities to rise up.  Challenges become the pathway to personal growth and expansion.  We build upon our previous successes and believe in our ability to overcome whatever life throws our way.  We will not stay down when we know our own power.

Be open to learning.

Life is about the journey, the continual unfolding of experience and understanding.  We are here, I believe, to experience ourselves as the divine creators that we are.  As such, we are continually given happenings through which we can deepen our understanding of ourselves and our power to create.  We learn about our resiliency, our tenacity, our precociousness.  We test our limits so that we can move beyond them.

When life is viewed with the intent to learn something from every experience, we no longer need to judge things as either good or bad since every experience teaches something.  We create more latitude and freedom to go beyond our previously conceived limitations.  When we can release the need to already know everything about life and ourselves, we open to learning more than we ever dreamed possible, often through means which we never even considered.

Don’t take it personally.

We so often act as if everything that we witness in life is aimed at us personally.  We take offense at a friend’s apparent thoughtlessness.  We become wounded because someone we want to be with is busy doing other things.  We assume that our partner’s silence or withdrawal is our fault.  We create stories in our minds that explain whatever we’re observing, and for one reason or another, we make ourselves wrong.

Putting ourselves in this place of being at fault for every little thing stems from the unconscious perspective of being a victim to life.  But we are not victims – we are the creators of our experience.  So when we stop telling stories that perpetuate the myth of our victimhood and stop making up reasons why we are at fault for things, we are free to simply observe life.  That friend’s thoughtlessness may have been caused by her preoccupation with her parent’s failing health.  It had nothing to do with our relationship.  The friend we want to be with who is busy doing other things is juggling a full schedule and will happily spend time with us soon.  And our partner’s silent withdrawal may be his way of dealing with added pressures at work.  Most of the things we observe other people doing have absolutely nothing to do with us.  So quit taking responsibility for their actions.

Being detached enough to simply observe life creates an incredible freedom to respond with love rather than using things as excuses to feel bad about ourselves.  Rather than becoming yet another reason to suffer, life becomes inviting and exciting.

Avoid comparisons.

When we operate from the unconscious perspective of being a victim, we often compare our experiences to others.  Without understanding what someone else has done to get to where we now see them standing in life, we simply decide that we are “less than” or “not enough” because we aren’t also standing there.  We inevitably make the comparisons about our worth which can only be damaging.

When we become confident about our undeniable value and worth, we no longer need comparisons to validate our position.  We realize that comparisons are actually irrelevant.

Trust that things are always working out.

Holding onto the belief that things are always working out for us puts us in a place of positive expectation.  We begin to see our experiences as life affirming rather than negating.  We weather difficulties with more ease because we understand that all situations are temporary and that by not resisting them, we allow them to flow past us more quickly.  We trust that every difficulty is actually an opportunity to break through old limits and create a more expansive future.  We look at our life as the mirror it is and rather than deciding that things are indicating we aren’t good enough, we see the areas in our lives where our beliefs are creating barriers to our potential.  Then we use that information to create even greater joy by moving past those barriers.

Life offers us endless support when we are willing to accept it.  Otherwise, we can also experience an endless array of difficulty which must surely indicate that we are unworthy and unlovable.  Ultimately, the choice is ours.  We can allow life to validate our worth, create ever greater opportunities for growth and endless opportunities to share love.  Or we can wallow in the despair of never being enough, never measuring up to whatever self-imposed standard we’ve created internally, and having no chance of beating the overwhelming odds that life stacks against us.  One choice is filled with love, light, joy and possibility.  The other is mired in despair, helplessness and hopelessness.

Isn’t it awesome that we can choose either option?!

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Let things be

Posted on January 20, 2015. Filed under: Spiritual Practice | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Can you feel it?  Are you too struggling to find your joy and happiness right now?  Do you feel like part of you has hunkered down and is now in hibernation?  Well, if that’s the case, I want you to know that you’re not alone!

My 2015 started out in the best possible way – connecting with amazing people, having phenomenal experiences, stepping into knowing what I want to leave behind in 2014 and what I want to invite into 2015.  But the first few weeks of this new year have felt all over the board.  Physically, I’ve already had two bouts with cold and flu.  Clearing?  Purging?  I think so – on many levels.  And now my body remains tired.  Overly tired despite getting plenty of sleep.

My mind wants to know what’s going on.  I want to ask myself what it is that I’m doing “wrong,” as if this is somehow wrong.  But I know better than that too.  I KNOW that we are all where we need to be, moving through everything we need to experience.  I trust that it’s all good and that whatever this is, it is happening for my highest good.I will let things be

So I’m left with just one thing:  BE GENTLE.  Those words keep coming to me.  Be gentle – when in the past I might berate myself for “still” being in this space after hours, days, now weeks.

I connect with the people who uplift and support me.  I talk to my friends, many who offer their insights into what they perceive is going on with me.  I balance and weigh their perceptions with what I believe to be true myself.  And underneath it all is the admonition to TRUST myself, to trust the process, my process.  What is right for me isn’t necessarily right for anyone else – but beating myself up definitely won’t make it any easier.

Sometimes the words I offer to my clients during readings are as much for me as they are for them.  Today I am reminded of words that I recently shared with a client – to get out of my own way and stop micro-managing things.  I DO trust that everything is working out.  Some days, the best thing is to just let them be.

I know that in a short time, things will have shifted sufficiently that I will feel completely differently.  So for right now, I vow to just let things be.

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Falling into TRUST

Posted on November 30, 2011. Filed under: Spiritual Awakening | Tags: , , |

The concept of TRUST has been playing around in my head lately.  I want more trust – I want to trust my inner guidance, my knowing-ness, my connection to Source, my intuition.  I want to TRUST myself more.

I’m a person who spends a lot of time in her head.  I like to know things.  I like to learn and to figure out how things work.  I like to know the why so that I can understand.

But I’m learning that life is an energetic ride – and a truer measure of where we’re heading is not a matter of knowledge but of emotion.  Our feelings guide us into alignment with all that we’re wanting, dreaming, aspiring and expanding into.

So I’m practicing being happy.  I’m making feeling good my number one priority.  I do things only because I want to.  I’m catching the word “should” and eliminating it from my vocabulary.  …And do you know what?  It’s working.

Life has become a series of little miracles and amazing happenings.  I see beauty wherever I look.  It’s utterly mind-blowing how much beauty there is to appreciate in our physical world.

This is where TRUST comes back into the picture.  Am I where I want to be?  In some ways, yes; in other ways, no.  But I’m leaning on TRUST to see me through.

There’s still much I don’t understand, but I TRUST I know everything I need to right now.

I still don’t know what form my business will take, but I TRUST that it will be revealed to me in perfect timing, and I TRUST that it will fulfill my dreams in ways that I can’t even imagine right now.

I don’t know how thousands of dollars are going to show up in my experience, but I TRUST that the Universe (which is infinitely more capable than I at this) will orchestrate everything in the best possible way.

I know that what I see in my life right now is the result of what I’ve given my attention and focus to in the past.  And I TRUST that by keeping my focus on things that feel good to me now, I’m creating a future full of all kinds of things that I want and that will give me more reasons to feel happy.

That’s what the saying, “Our power is in the NOW,” is all about.  It is in our NOW that we focus our energy and attention.  And it is that focus that creates the next moment of NOW.  In fact, that’s all we really have to work with – an endless string of NOWs.

When doubt and fear creep into my thoughts, as they occasionally do, I keep pulling back to my number one priority of feeling good.  I focus on how I can regain my joy, my happiness.  And again, I reach for that TRUST – believing that everything really IS okay.

As I practice relying on this TRUST, my inner guidance grows stronger and surer.  My intuition gets louder.  I gather “evidence” and “proof” that All is Well, and that the Universe really does orchestrate things perfectly.  Until I reach that place of complete knowing, until what I see matches what I’m now wanting, I will continue to TRUST that I’m on the right path, on MY path, to becoming all that I can be, all that I already am.

Because, you see, I already TRUST that that is what life is all about – becoming ME, becoming more of me in every way possible and experiencing the power of my creating my life in any way that I choose.  It’s up to me.  And I TRUST that All Is Well.

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Divine Timing

Posted on March 11, 2010. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , |

I’m doing all of the things that self-help gurus suggest – I’m maintaining a positive outlook (most of the time).  Every day I’m doing something for my soul’s growth.  I’m facing my fears and wading through the muck that dredges up.  I’m using the Law of Attraction – and seeing small successes.  I’m meditating and tuning in to my guides and angels for guidance.  So why then isn’t my financial abundance, psychic sight (you fill in the blank) happening yet?!

This interesting, but subtle, question has been niggling my brain.  How do I tell the difference between needing to be or do something to attract my desires and needing to allow things to come to me in Divine Timing?

It feels like I’ve been banging my head on this one for a while.  In an attempt to end the futility of continued head-banging, I’m committing this place, this experience to words and paper.  Perhaps then I’ll find my peace about it.

It seems to me that at times we can “do” or “be” everything absolutely perfectly, and still our desire eludes us.  So is it that we’re doing something “wrong”?

Basically, I decided that “No, we’re not doing something wrong.”  All of the pieces simply aren’t in place yet.  And sometimes, they’re not even our pieces to do anything with.

Sometimes we’re in the midst of a learning curve or perhaps our physical bodies are undergoing changes in order to ready us for receiving our desire.  Sometimes we simply have to wait, trusting God and the Universe to orchestrate everything perfectly.  Haven’t we already seen how perfectly God handles things?  Completion of this great desire is no different.

It will come in God’s time.  Diving Timing.

While it’s frustrating to not have what we want RIGHT now, we have to acknowledge that it’s a matter of perspective.  Perhaps there’s a cost we can’t see from where we’re standing.  Perhaps other undesirable things would happen if we were to receive our desire right now.

For me, it’s been boiled back down to TRUST.  I must trust the Universe to grant my desire in the best possible way.  I must trust my guidance to focus on my path even it it’s not bringing me what I think I want above everything else.

It will come.  I know this.  In Divine Timing.

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Opening to the Possibilities

Posted on November 24, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , |

Trust!  What a powerful vibration to move into…

In that moment when we are quiet and connected to our Source, to God – it’s so easy to KNOW that we are provided for, that we are unconditionally loved, that we are part of something so magnificent and so grand that it defies words.  The trick lies in remembering to connect, in carrying that connection throughout the day.

When we TRUST, we begin to see daily occurrences with new eyes.  We see the synchronicities that unfold, the coincidences that can be none other than loving Divine Intervention on our behalf.  We begin to see the power of our creative forces.  WE are creators of our circumstances – and in the wonder of that lies the power of possibilities.

Trust also brings with it the knowing that we are only responsible for the desire, for casting our intention to the Universe, to praying to God.  The granting of that prayer, the manifesting of that intention are up to God and the Universe.  The outcome is NOT our responsibility.

When we remember that, when we open our eyes, knowing that the Universe will lovingly support us – we find that God provides us with opportunities that we could barely begin to imagine.  In this lies the magic of life, the wonder of the Universe.

Today I challenge you to see before you the vast array of possibilities.  Open yourself to accept that the Universe can bring to you the object of your desire in unimaginably beautiful ways.  Today, ask God to surprise you.

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